I have a secret to tell you DCL #22


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I've got a secret to tell you... aah it's so embarrassing for me to share. But I feel like it's important to get off my chest, so I'm going to trust you and tell you anyways.

Okay, here we go!

I once got so caught up in my job search that my husband found me weeping at the train station. Like full on ugly crying. In public. At the train station. Like at one of the busiest train stations in all of Canada. On Friday. In rush hour. Got the picture?

Think sitting on a bench with tear-streaked, blotchy cheeks, red eyes and snot running down my face. Yes, there was snot.

It was not one of my finest moments.

Let me back up.

You're probably thinking, "How the heck did you get there, Beckie?"

Sometimes when I tell this story, I wonder that too 🙈

But here's what happened...

I'd been working for months preparing for a new role in management consulting. It had been gruelling, long hours on top my regular work. But, I was committed. And I was going to make it happen.

I'd networked my little tushy off.

I'd built connections.

I'd gotten referrals.

I'd revised my resume 1000s of times.

I'd practiced cases.

I did mental math on every commute.

I knew my stories inside and out.

I was committed.

No, I was obsessed.

In hindsight, I was too committed.

Now, don't get me wrong, commitment is important. But sometimes commitment can become like a headlamp in our eyes that blinds us to our surroundings and the rest of our senses.

That's what happened to me.

I wasn't paying attention to the still small voice inside that was whispering ever so graciously that there might be a different path.

That as much as I wanted that career path, there was something very different - better even - ahead.

But commitment and the lure of prestige roared in my ears and I never stopped to quiet myself to see what wisdom other voices might offer.

Don't get me wrong, commitment and hard work will take you far.

I got interviews at all the top firms - the ones I was after.

I progressed through the rounds.

But, to my devastation, firm after firm declined to make me an offer.

6 hours before my train station incident, I had my last final round interview.

Then, as I was walking towards the train station, I got the call.

It was a no.

I was crushed.

I felt like my world was ending.

Everything I'd worked for had come to nothing.

And that's when the tears hit.

My husband found me at the train station and somehow calmed me down enough to help me onto the train. I spent the weekend journalling and thinking about the journey I'd just gone on (almost on autopilot).

There were MANY lessons learned from this experience...

But the one I want to leave you with is how important it is to not get so wrapped up in our goals that we lose sight of what's going on around us and in us.

Yes, work hard.

Yes, have goals.

But be flexible. Sometimes things just don't work out. I've learned that when a door closes, it's typically because something better is behind the next one. My job is to manage my attitude, my mindset, my expectations and my emotions so that I'm ready for what's next.

I created this exercise to help me tune out the big overwhelming stimuli (think the headlight commitment from my story) and help me get in touch with my heart. I'll share it here because I hope it helps you as much as it's helped me.

Walking through a job search is hard.

Why? Because it's a big transition and where you land will impact your entire life. You know that. I know that.

Reader, I'd be honoured to walk with you during this transition. I care about your wellbeing and that you have the tools to find and land a job you love. A job that fills your bank account with more money than you have today so you can achieve your personal dreams.

Your dreams are IMPORTANT!

I've opened my calendar for the next two weeks to connect. Why don't you book a call so we can talk? (click HERE to find a time)

I can't wait to meet you and hear your story.

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Tuning In Exercise

Use this exercise when you're in decision-making mode and want to discover other insights to help you make a wise, informed decision. This exercise will help clarify what you're feeling about a new opportunity and give you direction on what to ask and explore further before saying yes or no.

Take a moment to pause and become quiet. I like to think of this as quieting the mental noise, the to-do lists, your hungry stomach etc. Let that all fade to the background.

Consider the opportunity at hand. Think about what is being presented to you. What will it mean for your career, your finances, your relationships and your time? Write down your responses.

As you consider the opportunity, observe what is happening in your gut. Shift your awareness to your abdomen area and consider what you’re feeling and if you can put words to those feelings.

Write down what you sense. Putting pen to paper helps pin down exactly what’s going on.

Next, take a moment to pause and read what you wrote. Is there anything else that comes up as you read what you wrote? Write that down.

Now, shift your awareness to your brain. Observe what is happening in your mind as you consider the opportunity. What are you thinking? What questions arise? How do these thoughts make you feel?

Write down what you sense.

Take a moment to pause and read what you wrote. Is there anything else that comes up? Write that down.

Now, read everything you wrote and pay attention to how you feel and what you’re thinking about as you read. What is the main theme?

Consider the opportunity again. What decision makes you feel peaceful (even if you don’t have all the answers) and joyful?

What decision makes you feel stressed, tight, anxious or have rapid, shallow breathing?

What questions do you need answers to before you are able to make a decision? Who can you call to discuss your questions with? Write down your answers.

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