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Networking is a dance.

This week it's become apparent that some people get formal instruction on how to do that dance, others fudge their way through it until the song ends and "fake it till they make it" and still others feel (and maybe look) like they have two left feet, stomping all over their dance partner.

Whether you're a seasoned pro at networking or you're the person who feels like you have two left feet, I wrote this email with you in mind.

Most people think about networking as the cocktail mixer where someone effortlessly glides through a crowd, making witty comments, sparking laughter and creating a following of adoring fans. Frankly, I don't know anyone who can do that and if they could, I'm not sure I'd even want to network with them anyways.

In reality, the word "networking" strikes fear into the heart of the most earnest job seeker.

But this does NOT need to be you.

Why?

Because networking is so much more than the cocktail mixer.

I'd like to introduce you to The Coffee Chat. The networking scene for introverts, extroverts and anyone in-between to make meaningful connections and important discoveries on the job search.

What is a coffee chat?

A coffee chat is a way to build your professional connections, learn about new roles or opportunities and expand your network. In North America, this is THE way to build professional relationships - especially on the job search. So learning this dance will pay dividends (literally) throughout the course of your career.

Unlike a meeting with your friend, a coffee chat always has a purpose. There are specific protocols to coffee chats - essentially, there are right ways and wrong ways to have a coffee chat.

In this edition of Design a Career You Love, I'm going to help you navigate your way through a successful coffee chat. Follow these steps and you'll fast track your job search.

Ready?

Let's dive in!

Why the coffee chat?

Business is built on relationships. So, if you'd like to join a business as an employee, then you also need to become an adept at building and maintaining relationships.

In addition, networking is your way to get the inside scoop on the company, team, and role you'd like to land BEFORE you go to the trouble of applying and interviewing. Trust me, networking in advance truly is your superpower as a job seeker.

Setting up a coffee chat

Once you've identified WHO you want to meet with, you'll need to get in touch. If you know the person, then send a message directly. However, usually in the job search, you need to expand your network to people in different roles, functions and companies.

So what do you do if you've identified who you want to meet with, but you don't know them?

Great question! I've created an entire guide to help you plan your outreach strategy and you can access it for fre​e HERE. This guide even includes outreach scripts you can copy / paste and tweak.

How to approach a networking conversation

Remember, the professional world is built on coffee chats. So asking for 20-minutes of someone's time to learn more about X, Y or Z is completely appropriate.

Unless, you approach the coffee chat with an entitled attitude.

The proper posture in a coffee chat is GRATITUDE the whole way through.

✨ Gratitude for someone's time.

✨ Gratitude that they are willing to share their hard earned life and career lessons with you.

✨ Gratitude that they are helping you out.

When every message, tone of your voice, body language and word choice drips with genuine gratitude, it's like a key that unlocks closed doors.

On the flip side, if you act entitled by showing up late, not being prepared, making it all about you or spending too much time talking, then you're demonstrating either that you don't know what you're doing, or you're arrogant. No one wants to volunteer their time to help someone who is arrogant and self-absorbed. So don't make this mistake.

How to run a successful coffee chat

Here are the steps to running a successful coffee chat.

👉 Arrival

• Introductions and small talk while you settle in and get your beverage.

👉 Sit down and share the meeting purpose

• Once you're settled, you start the conversation by sharing briefly about your background and what led you to this point in your career so your contact has context for your discussion. Even if you've shared this over email or LinkedIn, ALWAYS reiterate this in your meeting in case your contact has had a busy day and doesn't remember.
• Frame the discussion by highlighting what you'd like to learn during your conversation. Tell your contact that you've prepared a few questions to guide the conversation and are curious to hear their perspective on topic A, B and C.
• End this part by saying "How does that sound to you?"
• Then, let them respond before you dive into your questions.

👉 Discuss and connect

• Use your questions as a guide, but really allow the other person to freely share from their experiences. You don't want this meeting to feel like an interview for them so make sure to respond to what they say, ask follow up questions and show interest in things you'd like to know more about.
• It's okay if you don't get through your entire question list - you'll likely get through 3-5 questions so make sure you ask the most important questions first.

👉 Time check

• Around the 18-minute mark, mention that you're coming to the end of their promised 20-minutes.
• Read the room! If they're actively checking their phone or mention that they do need to get back to work, wrap up the conversation. However, if they seem relaxed and engaged then you could say, "I've got one more question I'd love to ask, would that work for you or could I follow up by email?"
• If they say, "Sure, no problem. Happy to keep talking!" then ask your last question before wrapping up the conversation. Don't go over the 30-minute mark before wrapping up.

👉 Wrap up

• Closing your networking conversation properly is so important!
• Thank your contact for their time and the insights they shared.
• Ask if they would like to stay updated on your job search as it progresses (this will give you permission to stay in touch).
• Ask for an introduction to someone else to continue to expand your network. How do you do that? Highlight something you discussed in your conversation and say, "I'm really curious to learn more about X or Y. Is there anyone on your team you'd recommend I connect with?"
• If they offer up a name, then ask if they would be open to providing an introduction to you.

Practical networking tips

1️⃣ Select a location that is easy for your contact to get to

Ask them where they'd like to meet or suggest a place that is close to their office. Then send a calendar invite with a link to the location to make it SUPER easy for them.

If you're meeting virtually, send a calendar invite and include the calling details (phone, Zoom, Teams, Google Hangouts etc.). Remember to ask your contact if they have a preference of meeting software since some companies block certain calling software systems due to privacy concerns.

2️⃣ Show up prepared

While the coffee chat is just that - a chat. It's imperative that you show up prepared.

Before you meet with your contact you should:

• Review your contact's LinkedIn profile to learn more about who they are and what they're interested in.
• Determine if you have common experiences, mutual connections or went to the same school.
• Understand what their employer does and what their business model is (i.e. how they make money).
• BONUS: Try the product or service if it's consumer focused before you meet.
• Discover if they or their employer have been in the news or published something recently.
• Get clear on the industry your contact operates in and what the trends and opportunities are right now.

ALSO

• Prepare what you're going to say about your career path, why you're meeting and what you hope to gain from the meeting.
• A list of 5-7 questions you'd like to ask.

3️⃣ Be professional

Timing - Show up at least 5-10 minutes early so you don't waste your contact's time. If you are late for whatever reason, make sure you let them know at least 15 min ahead of time. Tell them what time you think you'll be there and ask if they would like to meet or reschedule. Make sure to apologize for the inconvenience.

Dress Code - Dress in business casual (even if you're meeting virtually).

Virtual Meeting - Get your virtual background set up so that you don't have a background that is cluttered or too personal. Make sure you login in advance or try a test call to troubleshoot any technical issues. Make sure your audio / video is clear. Position your camera to look directly at you so you're not looking up or down at your contact (try stacking your computer on books if you have to).

Take Notes - Bring a notebook to take notes during the meeting. This shows that you're serious about wanting to apply their advice.

4️⃣ Follow up within 24 hours

Always send a thank-you note via email or LinkedIn (whatever you've been communicating on) to express gratitude for your contact's time.

I recommend including;

1. A few comments on what was discussed and why you found that helpful / insightful.
2. Kindly bring up any action items that were committed to (e.g. "Thank you again for offering to connect me with the product owner on your team. I really appreciate it. Let me know if you need anything from me to make that introduction.").
3. If appropriate, send an article you've been ready relating to what you discussed.
4. Thank them for their time.

If you haven't already, add your new contact on LinkedIn (make sure you personalize the invite when you add them, thanking them for their time).

There you have it!

The Coffee Chat networking dance steps.

Time to put it into practice.

Just like a dance class, you might find this choreography simple. Or, you might read these steps and think "I need more support!"

If that's you, I've got you.

I'd love to support you through your job search and help you master this dance. The better you get at this dance, the easier your career will be. So why not invest up front and gain the skills you need to become a master of the coffee chat?

If you're reading this and saying, "Yes, Beckie! I'd love your support." then let's book a call to talk further. Book your complimentary Discovery Call HERE so we can't talk about your career goals and how I can best support you.

​I can't wait to meet you!​

Until next week.